Thirteen years ago on January 11^th I had my only daughter.  What an adventure it has been!!

Unlike the relatable coming of age book written by Judy Blume, “Are You There God It’s Me Margaret” that preteens nationwide gravitated to in my youth – my daughter forged her own industrial pubescent experiment that created a divide between her brothers and her.  An experiment that resulted in the first ever realization that she was no longer one of them.  The little sister that once received 2 staples in her head from wrestling them or would keep up with their terrible ideas including being shoved down the slide while stuffed in a hockey bag with only her head peeking out the top was making a subtle announcement that changes were on the horizon!

There was no pre-warning of these changes for me to prepare or provide motherly advice, they began happening quickly and have been consistent since.  She started with a routine preteen activity that most girls test run but only a girl with 3 older brothers would stuff her bra with aluminum foil.  My dear misguided Jackie came beaming out of school one afternoon with a smile from ear to ear.  Such joy tends to be a 20/80 chance when exiting school, which I will add, was usually not in our favor.  There are days when I can see from her direct trek to the car at a fast clip with a serious face, and slouched shoulders that it is going to be a long drive home.  I am inclined to lock the doors and speed out of carpool without letting her in the vehicle.  Raising a daughter is exhausting at times, it is at those times that I need to rally, not run away, but push forward with every ounce of compassion.  I get my pep talk ready, move the travel pack of Kleenex into reach and plaster my face with an optimistic smile to try to balance the tears I know are about to unleash for any number of reasons.  I have to be on my best game to move through this with great understanding so it doesn’t take over our evening.

Thus the confusion for her extreme joy on this particular day.  Apparently she had taken the Costco size heavy duty aluminum foil that I had used to wrap left over pizza in for her lunch, tore it in ½, wadded the sections up and while in the bathroom stall at school, stuffed the bumpy, ridged, unforgiving, balls of foil into her training bra.  At carpool she was proudly walking to the car though I was not able to identify the source of her good spirits, it was an odd enthusiasm until she couldn’t stand her secret any longer.  “Did you notice anything different about me?”  she asked Casey with her shoulders back, face beaming brightly.  Casey studied her for a moment with no response, we were all waiting for the big conclusion.   She flicked the aluminum lumps with her finger and exclaimed “I have BOOBS and their hard as rocks!” Casey dryly responded “you might want to work on your symmetry if this is going to be a new thing”.   The sarcasm did not faze her.  She was more than happy to recount the steps she took and her handy work of constructing this distorted rite of passage.

Geez Jackie!!!  Those had to have hurt.  Her quest to appear older came with consequences that she was willing to endure.  She shamelessly insisted on wearing the ridiculous implants to her piano lesson which was a compromise we could agree on.  I give her credit for carrying it through without a single complaint though I did suggest the more traditional and gentle approach of toilet paper for future attempts.  Gladly this was a onetime deal.

My tomboy princess is now 13!  We packed away her American Girl dolls over a year ago.  The sturdy cardboard books I read over and over when she was a toddler are now replaced with novels, book series and teen magazines on her book shelf.   She sneaks through my closet to wear my clothes and she knows way too many personal facts about her favorite boy band, 5 Seconds of Summer which recently replaced her past obsession of One Direction.  The next several years will be a delicate balance of meeting her needs when prudent, staying steady in our structure, enforcing expectations and keeping a soft shoulder to lean on.  The best is yet to come…..